


Alone

by MerlinWinchestr



Category: Black Sails
Genre: No. 8, Whumptober 2020, abandoned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:13:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26864947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerlinWinchestr/pseuds/MerlinWinchestr
Summary: He had no problem being on his own. Hell, he preferred being alone. It was how it always had been and how it always would be.
Kudos: 6





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> **Category:** Gen  
>  **Rating:** K+  
>  **Characters:** John Silver  
>  **Warnings:** None  
>  **Setting:** Decades after the final season  
>  **Prompt:** Whumptober 2020 No. 8: Abandoned

# Alone

He had no problem being on his own. Hell, he preferred being alone. It was how it always had been and how it always would be. Besides, he wasn’t truly alone. He had his crew, after all, and his first mate Israel Hands who had been with him ever since—

No. He’d sworn never to think of those years of his life. It was easier to believe his own lies. If he man known as John Silver was anything, it was an expert liar. But it’s one thing to sell a lie to others, it’s an entirely different thing to buy into the lie yourself. Believing your own lie was dangerous, he more than anyone knew the truth of that fact first hand. It was what had led him to where he was now, after all. 

It was funny. For a man who had based his entire self around lies, the truth was never far behind. It was constantly whispering in his ears, reminding him that it was all his fault that he was alone. The truth told him that his crew feared him, yes, but they would never care if something happened to him. Even Hands wouldn’t mourn him. The truth was that he was a relic, a reminder of a past that just wouldn’t die. 

Because no matter how much he told himself he preferred it this way, memories haunted him every time he closed his eyes. He saw Flint standing ins his shirtsleeves and staring toward Savannah where the love of his life waited. He saw Madi walking back down the cliff and never once turning as she took her place amongst her people. He saw himself standing alone, abandoned and forgotten. 

He didn’t blame them. How could he? It was his choices, his betrayal, that ended their war and all their hopes for freedom and revenge. But they were _alive_. No matter the consequences, that should be all that mattered. They were alive and with the people they loved. It wasn’t the first time he had been abandoned, and it certainly hadn’t been the last.

And yet it hurt the most. Even after all these years, the pain of losing them because of his lies and his truths still hurt as much as it had when they first turned their backs. He refused to dwell on why their abandonment hurt so much. He couldn’t, or else he would throw himself into the ocean and just sink. 

So he told himself his lie, day after day after day: he had no problem being on his own. He preferred being alone. Maybe if he said it enough times, just maybe one day he could truly believe it.


End file.
